RIP Stanislaw Lem
One day Trurl the constructor put together a machine that could create anything starting with n. When it was ready, he tried it out, ordering it to make needles, then nankeens and negligess, which it did, then nail the lot to narghiles filled with nepenthe and numberous other narcotics. The machine carried out his instruction to the letter. Still not completely sure of its ability, he had it produce, one after the other, nimbuses, noodles, nuclei, neutrons, napththa, noses, nymphs, naiads, and natrium. This last it could not do, and Trurl, considerable irritated, demanded an explanation.
"Never heard of it," said the machine.
"What? But it's only sodium. You know, the metal, the element . . ."
"Sodium starts with an s, and I work only in n."
"But in Latin it's natrium."
"Look, old boy," said the machine, "if I could do everything starting with n in every possible language, I'd be a Machine That Could Do Everything in the Whole Alphabet, since any item you care to mention undoubtedly starts with n in one foreign language or another. It's not that easy. I can't go beyond what you programmed. So no sodium."
--Stanislaw Lem (1921-2006)
fr. "How the World Was Saved"
in The Cyberiad, c. 1980
Friday, March 31
Wednesday, March 29
Works in Progress, 37
1.
maneuvering pothole-sized cars around
designing strategic illegalities
speaking solely in terms of racial justice
examining burial pits and naked skulls
2.
sticking to issues that directly affect them
bemoaning the cautiousness of today's athletes
co-opting the arguments of their opposition
tracking Latino immigrants at the border
3.
supporting any effort to unionize
failing to generate meaningful responses
becoming one with the centipede in oneself
getting some good poems out of it
4.
rewriting the country's labor laws
seeing a psychic map of our obsessions
building electoral coalitions that will win
emphasizing the overlapping interests of the affluent
5.
slumbering well until after nightfall
setting this brain of mine afire
reaching irritably after fact & reason
shunning easy consolations
6.
subsidizing extinction industries
helping women victimized by male violence
doubling the sign-up bonus for volunteers
supporting the troops while doubting the war
7.
counting the dead
waiting for them to break silence
descending the steeps of the soughing twilight
assimilating foreign cultures
8.
demilitarizing outer space
completing the application and mailing it back
reviewing our few remaining options
showing off poetry's "extreme generosity"
9.
getting in touch with the cable guys
swinging the birches
testing the waters
pushing radical music agendas
10.
getting out the vote
fetching water from the well
educating the masses
confessing to our personal demons
11.
clearing minefields from past wars
laying them for wars yet to come
staying executions, pardoning the innocent
blurring the boundaries, the borders
12.
reading maps in the dark with the top light off
folding them all back up rightly
cramming them into the glove compartment
getting moving again in the right direction
13.
cooling our heels
voting early and often
keeping our fingers crossed
paying full-price for our journey
14.
assembling a glossary of oft-used phrases
keeping silent while the tea is poured
maintaining an inventory of our beliefs and unbeliefs
finding time to clean up around the house
15.
making the world safe for plutocracy
clearing the minefields and cow pastures
converting analog files to digital
rereading An Anatomy of Melancholy
16.
fighting the high cost of prescription meditations
comparing the works of Proust, Gide, and Sartre
putting something aside for a rainy day
asking for another user's name and password
17.
scanning the shelves for news
cleaning up after the latest tsunami
taking care of our parents
looking forward to end-of-life decisions
18.
reassessing works already completed
exterminating the brutes
chipping ice from the windshield of the car
rebuilding the old road from Fredrikstad to Skjeberg
19.
getting more bang for the buck
setting something aside for that rainy day
worry about what to really worry about
getting back to the Bang, the Big One
20.
teaching the Chinese how to speak English
learning about Putin, reading his soul
cashing in on Homeland Security
making that list of things to make lists of
21.
deciding whether or not to escape to Canada
enhancing revenue without raising taxes
learning more about hematology
mapping talk-free zones in public parks
22.
making the punishment fit the criminal
recovering our census
fitting the glove to the velvet hand
dialing for (four) dollars
23.
laying mines at the Prose/Poetry border
celebrating the rebirth of death
transferring data from www.blogger.com
counting the years from start to finish
24.
unpacking after the last long/short journey
saying goodbye to the undead
finding trusty pocket tools for indoor use
pleasing others in letters
25.
recouping ancient losses
moving data from there to over here
scanning the text as rapidly as possible
keeping Kandinsky in mind
26.
replacing old maps with new ones
preparing the cat for summer camp
paying the bills in advance
brushing up on our Spanish
27.
stealing stones from the temple
building a nearby church
stealing stones from the church
building a nearby bank
28.
filling the sandbags
repairing the levee
spreading democracy around the world
counting and bagging the dead
29.
cleaning up after Rita, Katrina
remembering we must pay our bills
washing windows of opportunity
trying to find the snows of yesteryear
30.
covering up the latest cover-up
rereading all we've reread as of now
reviewing the plays of Pinter, their silences
uncovering the cover-up of the cover-up
31.
comparing apples to orangutans
criminalizing conservative politics
finding new ways to profit from disasters
rescuing painting from the dead end of Pop Art
32.
robbing St. Peter to pay J. Paul Bremer
waking up to a brand-new day
overcoming inertia and ignorance
forgetting that old Underwood we used to love
33.
freeing the slaves
admonishing those who do evil
stamping out political brushfires
democratizing the US
34.
closing the books on the old year
balancing the checkbook (first time ever)
remembering to reshape my face (yet again)
changing course (as always)
35.
securing the seaports
transfiguring the night of the prom
seeking an audience with the President
bombing the Middle East into freedom and democracy
36.
telling civil war from your garden-variety insurgency
recognizing our deepest needs, wants, and wishes
finally getting that poodle to the groomer
learning to live on self-serve island
37.
keeping an eye on the military-industrial complex
reseeding the lawn for the nth and final time
staking out claims on the future
moving the party toward a more radical center
38.
1.
maneuvering pothole-sized cars around
designing strategic illegalities
speaking solely in terms of racial justice
examining burial pits and naked skulls
2.
sticking to issues that directly affect them
bemoaning the cautiousness of today's athletes
co-opting the arguments of their opposition
tracking Latino immigrants at the border
3.
supporting any effort to unionize
failing to generate meaningful responses
becoming one with the centipede in oneself
getting some good poems out of it
4.
rewriting the country's labor laws
seeing a psychic map of our obsessions
building electoral coalitions that will win
emphasizing the overlapping interests of the affluent
5.
slumbering well until after nightfall
setting this brain of mine afire
reaching irritably after fact & reason
shunning easy consolations
6.
subsidizing extinction industries
helping women victimized by male violence
doubling the sign-up bonus for volunteers
supporting the troops while doubting the war
7.
counting the dead
waiting for them to break silence
descending the steeps of the soughing twilight
assimilating foreign cultures
8.
demilitarizing outer space
completing the application and mailing it back
reviewing our few remaining options
showing off poetry's "extreme generosity"
9.
getting in touch with the cable guys
swinging the birches
testing the waters
pushing radical music agendas
10.
getting out the vote
fetching water from the well
educating the masses
confessing to our personal demons
11.
clearing minefields from past wars
laying them for wars yet to come
staying executions, pardoning the innocent
blurring the boundaries, the borders
12.
reading maps in the dark with the top light off
folding them all back up rightly
cramming them into the glove compartment
getting moving again in the right direction
13.
cooling our heels
voting early and often
keeping our fingers crossed
paying full-price for our journey
14.
assembling a glossary of oft-used phrases
keeping silent while the tea is poured
maintaining an inventory of our beliefs and unbeliefs
finding time to clean up around the house
15.
making the world safe for plutocracy
clearing the minefields and cow pastures
converting analog files to digital
rereading An Anatomy of Melancholy
16.
fighting the high cost of prescription meditations
comparing the works of Proust, Gide, and Sartre
putting something aside for a rainy day
asking for another user's name and password
17.
scanning the shelves for news
cleaning up after the latest tsunami
taking care of our parents
looking forward to end-of-life decisions
18.
reassessing works already completed
exterminating the brutes
chipping ice from the windshield of the car
rebuilding the old road from Fredrikstad to Skjeberg
19.
getting more bang for the buck
setting something aside for that rainy day
worry about what to really worry about
getting back to the Bang, the Big One
20.
teaching the Chinese how to speak English
learning about Putin, reading his soul
cashing in on Homeland Security
making that list of things to make lists of
21.
deciding whether or not to escape to Canada
enhancing revenue without raising taxes
learning more about hematology
mapping talk-free zones in public parks
22.
making the punishment fit the criminal
recovering our census
fitting the glove to the velvet hand
dialing for (four) dollars
23.
laying mines at the Prose/Poetry border
celebrating the rebirth of death
transferring data from www.blogger.com
counting the years from start to finish
24.
unpacking after the last long/short journey
saying goodbye to the undead
finding trusty pocket tools for indoor use
pleasing others in letters
25.
recouping ancient losses
moving data from there to over here
scanning the text as rapidly as possible
keeping Kandinsky in mind
26.
replacing old maps with new ones
preparing the cat for summer camp
paying the bills in advance
brushing up on our Spanish
27.
stealing stones from the temple
building a nearby church
stealing stones from the church
building a nearby bank
28.
filling the sandbags
repairing the levee
spreading democracy around the world
counting and bagging the dead
29.
cleaning up after Rita, Katrina
remembering we must pay our bills
washing windows of opportunity
trying to find the snows of yesteryear
30.
covering up the latest cover-up
rereading all we've reread as of now
reviewing the plays of Pinter, their silences
uncovering the cover-up of the cover-up
31.
comparing apples to orangutans
criminalizing conservative politics
finding new ways to profit from disasters
rescuing painting from the dead end of Pop Art
32.
robbing St. Peter to pay J. Paul Bremer
waking up to a brand-new day
overcoming inertia and ignorance
forgetting that old Underwood we used to love
33.
freeing the slaves
admonishing those who do evil
stamping out political brushfires
democratizing the US
34.
closing the books on the old year
balancing the checkbook (first time ever)
remembering to reshape my face (yet again)
changing course (as always)
35.
securing the seaports
transfiguring the night of the prom
seeking an audience with the President
bombing the Middle East into freedom and democracy
36.
telling civil war from your garden-variety insurgency
recognizing our deepest needs, wants, and wishes
finally getting that poodle to the groomer
learning to live on self-serve island
37.
keeping an eye on the military-industrial complex
reseeding the lawn for the nth and final time
staking out claims on the future
moving the party toward a more radical center
38.
Wednesday, March 22
"What was it that made things go wrong? The rooster that woke me up at dawn so that I was tired and careless? Being concerned about Tim and Tina, snoring away on the kitchen floor when they should have been running around? That rock Johnny bowled across the lawn onto the cellar-door? It gave me such a start! The weather was getting stormy (should have known what was coming from that rosy-fingered dawn!), and things do turn whenever that happens. Charles said it was the fault of ghosts, no point trying to stop them--of course he would say that: he's the one who claimed a single spoonful of cream wasn't enough, there ought to be half a dozen at least. Then Johnny snitched my bread for his snack--didn't leave any more than he took, the rascal! Whatever, I'm not serving this soup to anyone.
"Maybe all these things were responsible. But my bet is it was the poodles. You can't cook properly with them around. Not because they're poodles, naturally. They happen to be a race I adore."
--Harry Mathews
fr. Selected Declarations of Dependence
[Los Angeles: Sun & Moon Press, 1996]
"Maybe all these things were responsible. But my bet is it was the poodles. You can't cook properly with them around. Not because they're poodles, naturally. They happen to be a race I adore."
--Harry Mathews
fr. Selected Declarations of Dependence
[Los Angeles: Sun & Moon Press, 1996]
Tuesday, March 7
Works in Progress, 36
1.
maneuvering car-sized potholes around
designing strategic legalities
speaking solely in terms of racial justice
examining burial pits and naked skulls
2.
sticking to issues that directly affect them
bemoaning the cautiousness of today's athletes
co-opting the arguments of their opposition
tracking Latino immigrants at the border
3.
supporting any effort to unionize
failing to generate meaningful responses
becoming one with the centipede in oneself
getting some good poems out of it
4.
rewriting the country's labor laws
seeing a psychic map of our obsessions
building electoral coalitions that will win
emphasizing the overlapping interests of the affluent
5.
slumbering well until after nightfall
setting this brain of mine afire
reaching irritably after fact & reason
shunning easy consolations
6.
subsidizing extinction industries
helping women victimized by male violence
doubling the sign-up bonus for volunteers
supporting the troops while doubting the war
7.
counting the dead
waiting for them to break silence
descending the steeps of the soughing twilight
assimilating foreign cultures
8.
demilitarizing outer space
completing the application and mailing it back
reviewing our few remaining options
showing off poetry's "extreme generosity"
9.
getting in touch with the cable guys
swinging the birches
testing the waters
pushing radical music agendas
10.
getting out the vote
fetching water from the well
educating the masses
confessing to our personal demons
11.
clearing minefields from past wars
laying them for wars yet to come
staying executions, pardoning the innocent
blurring the boundaries, the borders
12.
reading maps in the dark with the top light off
folding them all back up rightly
cramming them into the glove compartment
getting moving again in the right direction
13.
cooling our heels
voting early and often
keeping our fingers crossed
paying full-price for our journey
14.
assembling a glossary of oft-used phrases
keeping silent while the tea is poured
maintaining an inventory of our beliefs and unbeliefs
finding time to clean up around the house
15.
making the world safe for plutocracy
clearing the minefields and cow pastures
converting analog files to digital
rereading An Anatomy of Melancholy
16.
fighting the high cost of prescription meditations
comparing the works of Proust, Gide, and Sartre
putting something aside for a rainy day
asking for another user's name and password
17.
scanning the shelves for news
cleaning up after the latest tsunami
taking care of our parents
looking forward to end-of-life decisions
18.
reassessing works already completed
exterminating the brutes
chipping ice from the windshield of the car
rebuilding the old road from Fredrikstad to Skjeberg
19.
getting more bang for the buck
setting something aside for that rainy day
worry about what to really worry about
getting back to the Bang, the Big One
20.
teaching the Chinese how to speak English
learning about Putin, reading his soul
cashing in on Homeland Security
making that list of things to make lists of
21.
deciding whether or not to escape to Canada
enhancing revenue without raising taxes
learning more about hematology
mapping talk-free zones in public parks
22.
making the punishment fit the criminal
recovering our census
fitting the glove to the velvet hand
dialing for (four) dollars
23.
laying mines at the Prose/Poetry border
celebrating the rebirth of death
transferring data from www.blogger.com
counting the years from start to finish
24.
unpacking after the last long/short journey
saying goodbye to the dead
finding trusty pocket tools for indoor use
pleasing others in letters
25.
recouping ancient losses
moving data from there to over here
scanning the text as rapidly as possible
keeping Kandinsky in mind
26.
replacing old maps with new ones
preparing the cat for summer camp
paying the bills in advance
brushing up on our Spanish
27.
stealing stones from the temple
building a nearby church
stealing stones from the church
building a nearby bank
28.
filling the sandbags
repairing the levee
spreading democracy around the world
counting and bagging the dead
29.
cleaning up after Rita, Katrina
remembering we must pay our bills
washing windows of opportunity
trying to find the snows of yesteryear
30.
covering up the latest cover-up
rereading all we've reread as of now
reviewing the plays of Pinter, their silences
uncovering the cover-up of the cover-up
31.
comparing apples to orangutans
criminalizing conservative politics
finding new ways to profit from disasters
rescuing painting from the dead end of Pop Art
32.
robbing St. Peter to pay J. Paul Bremer
waking up to a brand-new day
overcoming inertia and ignorance
forgetting that old Underwood we used to love
33.
freeing the slaves
admonishing those who do evil
stamping out political brushfires
democratizing the US
34.
closing the books on the old year
balancing the checkbook (first time ever)
remembering to reshape my face (yet again)
changing course (as always)
35.
securing the seaports
transfiguring the night of the prom
seeking an audience with the President
bombing the Middle East into freedom and democracy
36.
telling civil war from your garden-variety insurgency
recognizing our deepest needs, wants, and wishes
finally getting that poodle to the groomer
learning to live on self-serve island
37.
1.
maneuvering car-sized potholes around
designing strategic legalities
speaking solely in terms of racial justice
examining burial pits and naked skulls
2.
sticking to issues that directly affect them
bemoaning the cautiousness of today's athletes
co-opting the arguments of their opposition
tracking Latino immigrants at the border
3.
supporting any effort to unionize
failing to generate meaningful responses
becoming one with the centipede in oneself
getting some good poems out of it
4.
rewriting the country's labor laws
seeing a psychic map of our obsessions
building electoral coalitions that will win
emphasizing the overlapping interests of the affluent
5.
slumbering well until after nightfall
setting this brain of mine afire
reaching irritably after fact & reason
shunning easy consolations
6.
subsidizing extinction industries
helping women victimized by male violence
doubling the sign-up bonus for volunteers
supporting the troops while doubting the war
7.
counting the dead
waiting for them to break silence
descending the steeps of the soughing twilight
assimilating foreign cultures
8.
demilitarizing outer space
completing the application and mailing it back
reviewing our few remaining options
showing off poetry's "extreme generosity"
9.
getting in touch with the cable guys
swinging the birches
testing the waters
pushing radical music agendas
10.
getting out the vote
fetching water from the well
educating the masses
confessing to our personal demons
11.
clearing minefields from past wars
laying them for wars yet to come
staying executions, pardoning the innocent
blurring the boundaries, the borders
12.
reading maps in the dark with the top light off
folding them all back up rightly
cramming them into the glove compartment
getting moving again in the right direction
13.
cooling our heels
voting early and often
keeping our fingers crossed
paying full-price for our journey
14.
assembling a glossary of oft-used phrases
keeping silent while the tea is poured
maintaining an inventory of our beliefs and unbeliefs
finding time to clean up around the house
15.
making the world safe for plutocracy
clearing the minefields and cow pastures
converting analog files to digital
rereading An Anatomy of Melancholy
16.
fighting the high cost of prescription meditations
comparing the works of Proust, Gide, and Sartre
putting something aside for a rainy day
asking for another user's name and password
17.
scanning the shelves for news
cleaning up after the latest tsunami
taking care of our parents
looking forward to end-of-life decisions
18.
reassessing works already completed
exterminating the brutes
chipping ice from the windshield of the car
rebuilding the old road from Fredrikstad to Skjeberg
19.
getting more bang for the buck
setting something aside for that rainy day
worry about what to really worry about
getting back to the Bang, the Big One
20.
teaching the Chinese how to speak English
learning about Putin, reading his soul
cashing in on Homeland Security
making that list of things to make lists of
21.
deciding whether or not to escape to Canada
enhancing revenue without raising taxes
learning more about hematology
mapping talk-free zones in public parks
22.
making the punishment fit the criminal
recovering our census
fitting the glove to the velvet hand
dialing for (four) dollars
23.
laying mines at the Prose/Poetry border
celebrating the rebirth of death
transferring data from www.blogger.com
counting the years from start to finish
24.
unpacking after the last long/short journey
saying goodbye to the dead
finding trusty pocket tools for indoor use
pleasing others in letters
25.
recouping ancient losses
moving data from there to over here
scanning the text as rapidly as possible
keeping Kandinsky in mind
26.
replacing old maps with new ones
preparing the cat for summer camp
paying the bills in advance
brushing up on our Spanish
27.
stealing stones from the temple
building a nearby church
stealing stones from the church
building a nearby bank
28.
filling the sandbags
repairing the levee
spreading democracy around the world
counting and bagging the dead
29.
cleaning up after Rita, Katrina
remembering we must pay our bills
washing windows of opportunity
trying to find the snows of yesteryear
30.
covering up the latest cover-up
rereading all we've reread as of now
reviewing the plays of Pinter, their silences
uncovering the cover-up of the cover-up
31.
comparing apples to orangutans
criminalizing conservative politics
finding new ways to profit from disasters
rescuing painting from the dead end of Pop Art
32.
robbing St. Peter to pay J. Paul Bremer
waking up to a brand-new day
overcoming inertia and ignorance
forgetting that old Underwood we used to love
33.
freeing the slaves
admonishing those who do evil
stamping out political brushfires
democratizing the US
34.
closing the books on the old year
balancing the checkbook (first time ever)
remembering to reshape my face (yet again)
changing course (as always)
35.
securing the seaports
transfiguring the night of the prom
seeking an audience with the President
bombing the Middle East into freedom and democracy
36.
telling civil war from your garden-variety insurgency
recognizing our deepest needs, wants, and wishes
finally getting that poodle to the groomer
learning to live on self-serve island
37.
Sunday, March 5
XXIV. Why the Italian princes have lost their states
. . . The actions of a new prince attract much more attention that those of a hereditary ruler; and when these actions are marked by prowess they, far more than royal blood, win men over and capture their allegiance. This is because men are won over by the present far more than by the past; and when they decide that what is being done here and now is good, they content themselves with that and do not go looking for anything else. Indeed in that case they would do anything to defend their prince, provided he himself is not deficient in other things. Thus the new prince will have a twofold glory, in having founded a new state and in having adorned and strengthened it with good laws, sound defences, reliable allies, and inspiring leadership, just as the one who is born a prince and loses his state through incompetence is shamed twice over.
Let us consider those Italian rulers, such as the king of Naples, the duke of Milan, and so forth who have lost their states in our own times. If we do so, we shall find that they shared, first, a common weakness in regard to their military organization. . . . Then, it will be found that some of them incurred the hostility of the people or, if they had the people on their side, they did not know how to keep the allegiance of the nobles. If they are not undermined in one of these ways, states which are robust enough to keep an army in the field cannot be lost. Philip of Macedon (not the father of Alexander but the one who was conquered by Titus Quintius) ruled a minor dominion in comparison with the greatness of the Romans who attacked him with Greek auxiliaries. None the less, as he was a military man, who knew how to content the people and keep the allegiance of the nobles, he sustained the war against them for many years; and although at the end he lost control of some cities, he still kept his kingdom.
So these princes of ours, whose power had been established many years, may not blame fortune for their losses. Their own indolence was to blame, because, having never imagined when times were quiet that they could change (and this is a common failing of mankind, never to anticipate a storm when the sea is calm), when adversity came their first thoughts were of flight and not of resistance. They hoped that the people, revolted by the outrages of the conquerer would recall them. Now this policy, when all else fails, is all to the good. But it is wrong to have neglected other precautions in that hope: we do not find men falling down just because they expect to find someone helping them up. It may not happen; and, if it does happen, it leaves you unsafe because your expedient was cowardly and not based on your own actions. The only sound, sure, and enduring methods of defence are those based on your own actions and prowess.
--Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince (1514)
tr. George Bull
[London: Penguin Books, 1961]
. . . The actions of a new prince attract much more attention that those of a hereditary ruler; and when these actions are marked by prowess they, far more than royal blood, win men over and capture their allegiance. This is because men are won over by the present far more than by the past; and when they decide that what is being done here and now is good, they content themselves with that and do not go looking for anything else. Indeed in that case they would do anything to defend their prince, provided he himself is not deficient in other things. Thus the new prince will have a twofold glory, in having founded a new state and in having adorned and strengthened it with good laws, sound defences, reliable allies, and inspiring leadership, just as the one who is born a prince and loses his state through incompetence is shamed twice over.
Let us consider those Italian rulers, such as the king of Naples, the duke of Milan, and so forth who have lost their states in our own times. If we do so, we shall find that they shared, first, a common weakness in regard to their military organization. . . . Then, it will be found that some of them incurred the hostility of the people or, if they had the people on their side, they did not know how to keep the allegiance of the nobles. If they are not undermined in one of these ways, states which are robust enough to keep an army in the field cannot be lost. Philip of Macedon (not the father of Alexander but the one who was conquered by Titus Quintius) ruled a minor dominion in comparison with the greatness of the Romans who attacked him with Greek auxiliaries. None the less, as he was a military man, who knew how to content the people and keep the allegiance of the nobles, he sustained the war against them for many years; and although at the end he lost control of some cities, he still kept his kingdom.
So these princes of ours, whose power had been established many years, may not blame fortune for their losses. Their own indolence was to blame, because, having never imagined when times were quiet that they could change (and this is a common failing of mankind, never to anticipate a storm when the sea is calm), when adversity came their first thoughts were of flight and not of resistance. They hoped that the people, revolted by the outrages of the conquerer would recall them. Now this policy, when all else fails, is all to the good. But it is wrong to have neglected other precautions in that hope: we do not find men falling down just because they expect to find someone helping them up. It may not happen; and, if it does happen, it leaves you unsafe because your expedient was cowardly and not based on your own actions. The only sound, sure, and enduring methods of defence are those based on your own actions and prowess.
--Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince (1514)
tr. George Bull
[London: Penguin Books, 1961]
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